Welcome back to another addition of Movie Pitch Monday, this is a YouTube series I started recently where I pitch hypothetical movies. So far I’ve focused on IP I don’t own. These movies don’t have to be plausible or likely to happen, they just need to be fun and entertaining in their own right.
For this week, I’ll admit, the movie I’m pitching isn’t likely to happen. For the moment, I’ll bury the lead so you won’t find out what movie I’m pitching until later.
The movie follows a 35-year-old man, divorced with no kids, who works for his father’s company. Through nepotism he has risen through the ranks and is now a senior VP. While the youngest VP in the company and doing quite well for himself, he is battling some demons. In his personal life, he’s a bit of a recluse and has a substance abuse issue that he uses to mask some childhood trauma. He underwent a series of traumatic experiences as a kid and is working through some post-traumatic stress disorder for which he also seeks therapy to deal with.
In the opening scene, we see this young man speaking with his therapist about his issues, among them are social anxiety, feelings of not belonging, and neglect, particularly from his family. He is a bit of a black sheep in the family and always feels he is overlooked.
He has a family dinner he must attend and is feeling uneasy about going, so he self-medicates. When he arrives, the house is chaotic as usual since they have a big family. Aunts, uncles, cousins, brothers, and sisters… everyone is talking over each other and he heads to the kitchen to make himself a drink. Despite his success, he’s a middle child and his older siblings still treat him like he’s 10 years old, and his younger siblings don’t really relate to him so they mostly ignore him.
His mother is warm and caring toward him, but her attention is always divided especially around the holidays with all the aunts and uncles and their kids buzzing around. All his father seems to want to talk about is work and they have a tumultuous relationship. Although he’s surrounded by family, he feels alone.
After being ignored for most of the night, he decides he’s had enough. He ducks out and takes a cab back to his swanky penthouse suite in downtown Chicago, where he continues to drink and wallow in his self-pity.
Feeling the vibes, he puts on some Christmas music and begins to dance around the living room. He looks at an ornament hanging on his tree and smiles as that brings back one of a few fond memories from his childhood.
Unbeknownst to our hero, two buglers enter his apartment and wait for their moment to strike. When he least expects it, the burglars lunge for him, but he sees their reflection in one of the ornaments and dives out of the way before they nab him. There’s a scramble, some punches are thrown, but our man manages to break away and make a run toward a private elevator. Just before the door closes, he gets a good look at the burglars’ faces.
The elevator takes him to the underground parking facility, where he stumbles to his car — an Audi R8. He’s been drinking, but he’s sure he can sober up enough to drive.
His car hits the streets and our man thinks he’s safe. He reaches for his phone to call the police, but realizes it’s not with him. In the rear view mirror, he sees a vehicle fast approaching. A chase ensues and he’s weaving in and out of traffic as he races down the icy streets. He looses control and crashes into a pole. Our man is unconscious, slumped over in the front seat with a deflated air bag falling into his lap.
The next thing we see is two men rip open the car door, hank our man out, put a bag over his head, and throw him into the back of their SUV. As our hero comes to, he sees the all-too-familiar faces of Marv and Harry — the Wet Bandits themselves! In the backseat, our boy Maculay Culkin, reprising his role as Kevin McCallister, is reliving his worst nightmare.
Yes, I’m talking about Home Alone — a genre mashed modern-day holiday thriller staring Maculay Culkin.
The Wet Bandits no longer resort to petty crimes and home burglaries, they have elevated their game to take on more cyber crimes, stealing from large corporation, money laundering and the like. And wouldn’t you know, our boy Kevin works as a senior exec at one of the largest data security firms in the country. The Wet Bandits are holding him at gunpoint, forcing him to hack into one of the companies that his firm protects and steal trade secrets, for which they intend to sell.
Kevin is escorted into McCallister Industries where he needs to figure out how to outsmart these criminals. He does some typical Home Alone hijinks, but updated for the time and the genre. It’s no more paint cans and spiders, it’s more tech-based trap doors, elusive and evasive movements, security systems, etc. So he’s setting off sprinklers and causing alarms to blare, crawling through air ducts, etc. Think Die Hard meets Home Alone.
Anyway, in the end, Kevin escapes, foils the Wet Bandits and their henchmen, and drives back to his parent’s house — the house we know and love from the first movie. The house is still chaotic and Kevin is just in time for dinner. He sits down at the table and one of his siblings asks him to pass the salt. They haven’t even realized he was gone or what he just went through. Maybe his knuckles are all bruised and scraped up and someone comments about it. He casually says he slipped on some ice, but nobody even seems to care. The camera pans out to a chatty family all reaching over each other, greedily scooping food onto their plates. Fade to black. Credits.
So there it is, my holiday thriller Home Alone. Let me know in the comments if you enjoyed this pitch or how we can make it better. Also, be sure to check out some of my other pitches!
- My Back to the Future 4 Pitch
- My A Quieter Place Pitch
- My Superman Pitch
- My Socrates Pitch
- My Mystery Pitch
- My Miles Morales Pitch
- My Sly Pitch
- My Nightwing Pitch
- My Avatar 2 Pitch
- My Mask Pitch
- My Wu Tang Pitch
- My Iron Fist Pitch
- My Joe Rogan Animated Series Pitch
- My Marvelous Ones Pitch
- My The Art of the Hustle Pitch